[Ongoing] [Playb Yejun Bing's Story] Becoming the Me Who Doesn't Know You Episode 1

✎ Author: dddbbb

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Episode 1. Us, the Fools

“You’re pretending nothing happened again.”

Bambi's voice rang in his ears. ㅇㅇㅇ slowly put down the glass in his hand. It was a glass from which he had not even taken a sip.

“What are you talking about?”

“What is it? Yejun hyung and Chaeyoung. You felt it too.”

ㅇㅇ naturally turned his eyes. The atmosphere of the drinking party was still noisy. It was always like that when people working in the music industry gathered. Some talked about new songs, some discussed their next projects. And some—

“It’s okay. I’ve forgotten everything now.”

She answered shortly and lifted her glass.

Bambi sighed and took a sip of his drink.

“You always say that. But I can read your expression.”

ㅇㅇㅇ laughed slyly.

“You read too much.”

“That could be the case.”

Bambi put down his glass and smiled playfully, but his eyes were serious.

Yejun and Chaeyoung.

ㅇㅇㅇ That scene came to mind again.

After the evening recording was finished.

In the place where everyone was sitting together naturally, Yejun, as usual, took the seat next to Chaeyoung without thinking. And

“Are you okay? Recording today must have been hard.”

His voice was so affectionate that it made me jealous.

ㅇㅇㅇ pretended like nothing happened next to him. Yejun was originally a person who was kind to everyone. However, there was a strange difference in the way he treated Chaeyoung.

She knew it.

So I felt my heart breaking little by little.

Does Yejun really like Chaeyoung?

Maybe so, maybe not, but the point is that she couldn't be sure.

“ㅇㅇㅇ you really are an idiot.”

Bambi said.

ㅇㅇ raised his head with a start.

"what?"

“Just. I think you’re stupid.”

Bambi looked at her, holding a glass in one hand.

“You care so much about Yejun hyung, but you try not to show it. But it shows on everyone, right? You’re the only one who doesn’t know.”

"-hey."

“And by the way, I don’t know why I like you so much. Is Yejun hyung so great?”

ㅇㅇㅇ kept his mouth shut.

Yes, Yejun is a great person.

Since she started making music, she was the person I wanted to be like the most, the person I admired the most, and the person I had a crush on for the longest time.

But I couldn't say that in front of Bambi.

“I don’t know. I said I gave up now.”

She finally answered like that.

Bambi sighed and drank his drink.

“Yeah, you said so.”

ㅇㅇㅇ looked out the window in silence.

Maybe it was right to say that I was stupid.

She had been staring at the same place for too long.

Even though he knew that it was a place that didn't look at him.

Bambi swirled his glass once and took a sip.

“Because you care so much, I care too.”

For a moment, ㅇㅇㅇ did not understand what Bambi meant.

“…What are you talking about?”

“It’s okay if you don’t know.”

Bambi put down his glass as if it was nothing and looked at her as if he was leaning against her.

ㅇㅇㅇ sighed and turned his head away. He was not in the mood for Bambi's jokes right now.

At that moment, my gaze naturally turned to the noisy voice heard from afar.

“Oh, bro, are you drunk again?”

Ha Min said.

ㅇㅇㅇ instinctively looked for Yejun. He was shaking his glass with one arm resting on the table.

“…Not to that extent, but you just look happy?”

Eunho muttered next to Hamin.

“Brother, are you okay?”

As Eunho approached Yejun, Yejun slowly raised his head.

“Huh? Oh… Eunho.”

He smiled slowly.

“I feel good right now. So just leave it alone.”

ㅇㅇㅇ felt strange.

Although Yejun was good at drinking, it wasn't common for him to look this drunk.

“Hey, Nam Ye-jun. Are you okay?”

As ㅇㅇㅇ approached, Yejun raised his head.

"…yes?"

His gaze turned to her.

That was the moment.

Yejun slowly reached out and grabbed her wrist.

“Why are you trying to get away?”

ㅇㅇㅇ's heart sank. What the hell are you talking about.

I should have said that, but I couldn't say anything.

But at that time,

“I guess Yejun hyung didn’t sleep well. He’s talking in his sleep.”

Bambi quickly intervened and naturally pulled Yejun's hand away.

“Brother, wouldn’t it be better if we just rest?”

Bambi smiled playfully and lightened the mood, while Yejun blinked tiredly.

ㅇㅇㅇ exhaled without realizing it.

----------

ㅇㅇㅇ was sitting at the table, but he was half out of his mind.

“Why are you trying to get away?”

What Yejun said kept lingering in my head.

He could have said that when he was drunk. No, he definitely said it when he was drunk. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said that to me.

ㅇㅇㅇ shook his head vigorously.

“Why, does your head hurt?”

“No, just.”

Bambi stared at her and took a sip of his drink.

“You’re showing off your useless thoughts again.”

“….”

ㅇㅇㅇ didn't bother to answer.

As if trying to change the mood, Bambi naturally poured her a drink.

“Drink. Don’t overthink it.”

ㅇㅇㅇ quietly lifted his glass.

“You always offer me drinks.”

“Because drinking with you is the most fun.”

Bambi laughed slyly and took a sip of his drink too.

Nights like this were familiar. Sometimes because of Yejun, sometimes just plain hard days. At those times, the two of them would drink and have candid conversations.

"Hey, do you remember that time?"

"What kind?"

"We kissed."

ㅇㅇㅇ stopped his hand from putting down his glass.

“…Why are you suddenly talking about that?”

“I just remembered. You remembered?”

“How can you not remember? It was the craziest thing I’ve ever done.”

It was a day when we were both drunk. That day, we were drinking like we were now, and we kissed without thinking because we were intoxicated by the atmosphere.

But since then, the two of them have let it go without a hitch.

ㅇㅇ didn't care at all even after kissing, and Bambi had no intention of crossing the line.

It was a relationship that seemed like it would cross the line, but didn't.

“I’m still curious.”

"what?"

Bambi smiled lazily as he turned his glass.

“How did you feel at that time?”

ㅇㅇㅇ did not answer.

What should I say?

In fact, I still can't exactly define the feelings I had at that time.

As I emptied my glass silently without saying a word, Bambi didn't ask any more questions. Instead, he slowly got up and collapsed on the edge of the table.

“I’m going to sleep for a bit. Don’t wake me up.”

It sounded like a casual remark, but there was a whiff of evasion in it.

After Bambi fell asleep, silence fell over the table.

Now everyone was getting drunk and getting up one by one to head home or just falling asleep leaning back on their chairs. The noisy table had become quiet, and only the empty bottles remained, shaking precariously.

ㅇㅇㅇ slowly poured alcohol into the glass left alone. It was a quiet moment where no one paid attention.

At that moment, I felt someone's gaze.

When she turned her head, Ha-min was quietly looking at her from a distance.

“What, why are you looking at me like that?”

When ㅇㅇㅇ lifted her glass, moistened her lips, and asked, Ha Min silently got up from his seat and slowly moved to sit next to her.

“It’s just that my sister suddenly started drinking a lot again.”

“What’s wrong with alcohol?”

Ha Min just smiled for a moment at the words that were blurted out.

“I don’t usually drink this much.”

ㅇㅇㅇ put the glass down on the table without saying anything. There was a short sound of the glasses clinking against each other.

“Ha Min-ah.”

"…yes."

“You drink some too.”

She picked up the bottle and poured some liquor into his glass. Ha-min lifted his glass without saying a word and shook it with hers.

"braided."

A silent toast. Only the sound of bitter liquid flowing down the throat remained on the table.

Ha Min let out a short sigh and asked in a low voice.

“What happened between you and Yejun hyung earlier?”

ㅇㅇㅇ was momentarily speechless at the unexpected question.

“What the heck. I was just… talking nonsense because I was drunk.”

“Really?”

Ha Min's eyes were strangely sharp. A gaze that seemed to pierce through something.

“…Why are you asking that?”

"just-"

Ha Min looked away and answered briefly. Then he spoke quietly but firmly.

“I think it would be better to give up.”

ㅇㅇㅇ's heart sank for a moment.

But he quickly smiled and raised his glass, pretending as if nothing had happened, as always.

“Hey, are you usually that good at meddling in useless things?”

“Because my sister is doing useless things.”

Ha Min's words always had a point.

It always hit her right in the heart.

Ha Min's words stuck like a thorn.

ㅇㅇㅇ quietly put down the glass he was holding.

“Ha Min-ah.”

"yes?"

“Do you have any ill feelings toward Yejun?”

Ha Min's expression distorted for a moment.

“…What does that mean?”

“You’re strangely more sensitive to me when it comes to things related to Yejun.”

She looked at him slowly.

“What’s so bothering you?”

Ha Min didn't say anything for a moment. He just raised the corners of his lips slightly and smirked.

“I’m just… annoyed.”

"what."

“If it were me, I wouldn’t do that.”

The voice that fell at the end of the words was deep.

“Hamin, don’t worry about me.”

Ha Min's eyebrows twitched slightly.

“If I can turn it off, I will.”

ㅇㅇㅇ burst into laughter.

“Your personality really hasn’t changed since before.”

“The same goes for you, sister.”

There was a tense atmosphere between the two.

Eunho noticed the atmosphere from afar and playfully joined in.

“What? You two are bickering again?”

ㅇㅇㅇ shrugged his shoulders on purpose to lighten the mood.

“He’s been nagging a lot. Eunho, was he always this nagging?”

“I’ve been like this from the beginning?”

Ha Min responded indifferently.

Eunho tried to change the mood by smiling, but ㅇㅇㅇ knew.

The meaning contained in what Ha Min just said.

“I’ve been like this from the beginning?”

So why am I only realizing this now?

----------------

Even after the company dinner was over, people didn't leave easily.

ㅇㅇㅇ quietly went outside and got some fresh air.

I'm feeling a little tipsy.

“Why did you come out alone?”

I turned my head at the familiar voice and saw Noah standing there.

“I just felt frustrated.”

Noah nodded and stood next to her.

“You drank a lot today.”

ㅇㅇㅇ laughed slyly.

“I see.”

Noah looked at her quietly.

“Be honest. Is it because of Nam Ye-jun?”

ㅇㅇㅇ flinched.

“…Is it all gone?”

“Yeah. It’s really tea-like.”

Noah sighed, as if he was tired.

“Everyone knows that you like Yejun.”

At Noah's words, ㅇㅇㅇ was speechless.

“…Everyone?”

ㅇㅇㅇ was so absurd that I laughed.

“What about Yejun?”

Noah chuckled.

“I don’t know that either.”

“….”

ㅇㅇㅇ kicked the floor with his toes for no reason at the fact that he had been caught.

I couldn't deny it now, because it was true.

“But why don’t you ask anything?”

“Even if I tell you, you won’t admit it.”

"that…."

ㅇㅇㅇ's words trailed off.

“And it’s obvious even if I don’t say it?”

Noah looked at her leisurely.

“You care about what Yejun does and get hurt, but in the end, you still like him.”

ㅇㅇㅇ couldn't respond.

“If you just say you’re going to live like that, then what are we going to do?”

Noah smiled calmly.

“Just watch and see.”

ㅇㅇㅇ felt strangely chilled by those words.

If everyone really knew

Then does Yejun know too?

Then why is he indifferent?

“…Isn’t that stupid?”

ㅇㅇㅇ muttered softly.

Noah shrugged one shoulder.

“Um, a little?”

He lightly tapped her head and said.

“But there are many of us who are as stupid as you.”

ㅇㅇ looked at Noah.

“..You too?”

Noah smiled but did not answer.

The silence struck me as very meaningful.

⸻

ㅇㅇㅇ sat outside for a long time.

My head was complicated.

It's not the first time I've pretended like nothing happened and that everything was fine. Now I'm just too tired.

'Everyone knows.'

Noah's words would not leave my mind.

I wonder if Yejun knows too.

Then why is it nothing?

As those thoughts trailed off, I heard footsteps.

“You were here.”

At the familiar voice, ㅇㅇ raised his head.

It was a preview.

"are you okay?"

His tone was as affectionate as ever.

ㅇㅇㅇ almost cried for a moment, but swallowed it with difficulty.

“Yeah. Just wanted to get some air.”

Yejun stood in front of her and looked at her quietly.

This person was originally such an affectionate person.

Always and probably in the future.

But it was painful for ㅇㅇㅇ to know that the affection was the same for everyone.

“Why did you drink so much?”

ㅇㅇ answered with a short smile at Yejun's affectionate voice.

"are you okay."

Yejun looked at her quietly as if he didn't believe her words. That gaze was painful. It was so painful that ㅇㅇㅇ deliberately avoided her gaze.

“Was today hard?”

“Are you talking about recording?”

“That too.”

Yejun took a step closer. The distance between them became suffocating.

ㅇㅇㅇ swallowed his breath slowly.

“I told you it’s okay.”

Same answer again. Same lie again.

Yejun lowered his head slightly. Then he asked very carefully.

“Is it because of me?”

ㅇㅇㅇ's heart sank.

At that moment, my mind went blank.

'Even if you know, pretend not to. Please. Pretend not to know.'

“What are you talking about? I just drank because I like alcohol.”

She tried to smile and let it go. Her tone was full of laughter, and her expression was indifferent.

But Yejun was still looking at her.

“You’re so scary sometimes.”

"what?"

“Pretending like nothing happened. Making it seem like nothing happened.”

ㅇㅇ didn't erase his smile.

“Yejun, why are you acting so out of character?”

“….”

Yejun didn't answer.

He just stood quietly beside her. And a long silence fell between them. ㅇㅇ realized what that silence meant.

“Okay, let me ask you something too. Why did you do that today?”

"huh?"

“At a drinking party. He grabbed my wrist and said things like that.”

Yejun didn't answer for a while.

“Don’t you remember?”

“…I remember.”

That was the short answer.

ㅇㅇ took a deep breath for no reason.

“Then it wasn’t just nonsense.”

Yejun looked at her quietly. The night breeze blew his hair.

"yes."

"…huh."

“I hate being away from you.”

“…”

“I just hate it.”

Those words were not a confession.

That doesn't mean I was indifferent.

Ambiguous temperature.

ㅇㅇㅇ That temperature was more painful.

So I laughed.

“That’s right. You and I are like this.”

"what do you mean."

“Do not cross the line.”

ㅇㅇ said quietly.

“You treat me with affection, and I rely on that affection. But sometimes I get confused.”

Yejun didn't say anything.

“Look at your reaction. You really do know. Seriously, everyone else knew except me, like I was an idiot.”

ㅇㅇ quietly and calmly tried to convince himself and killed his mind.

Yejun turned his head and looked into the darkness. His expression was unreadable as he continued to watch the water.

Eventually, ㅇㅇ opened his mouth again.

“Let’s go in now.”

"yes."

She didn't look back.

"i like you."

The moment those words fell out, it seemed as if I could hear the sound of something inside my heart crumbling down.

ㅇㅇㅇ tried to laugh, but stopped. And then a real laugh came out.

“It’s too late, Yejun.”

"why..?"

“You were the only one who didn’t know what everyone else knew. No. You were just pretending not to know.”

Yejun's eyes wavered.

“I really had a hard time.”

“That wasn’t my intention.”

“Yeah. I hate that word the most.”

ㅇㅇㅇ tried to pass by Yejun. But Yejun grabbed her wrist. This time, it wasn’t because he was drunk. There was hesitation in his fingertips, and there was a shaking as if he was about to give up.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure then. But I know now.”

ㅇㅇㅇ slowly shook his hand away.

“What good is it knowing that now?”

And then he turned around quietly.

At that moment, Noah's words came back to me from somewhere.

“There are many kids who are as stupid as you.”

Maybe this was the night when fools clashed.

Who is a fool who finds out too late

Who is the fool who waited too long?

Some people are so stupid that they can't even say anything.

And among those fools, ㅇㅇ started walking quietly. It was a night when he now knew that affection could be poisonous.

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<Becoming the Me Who Doesn't Know You Episode 2> Click

<Click for full episode of I Don't Know You>

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